Missing India...

Ah. Finally the trigger. Was thinking about writing how these days it has come to - waking up in the morning after a long dream about school, feeling like a child and wanting to not come out of the blanket but waiting for your Mom’s ‘ultimatum’ - ‘No breakfast for you if you don’t wake up NOW!’, listening to bollywood songs in the lab in loops, missing India on seeing a box of sweets sent by roommates’ parents, longing to visit the usual CCD you used to hang out at when back in India, having that sudden urge to ride the Scooty Pep/Active/Dio and of course, day-dreaming about things-to-do when you finally touch ‘base’, as one of my friends called it the other day :) This very base was the trigger through the theme song of Amir’s ‘Satyamev Jayte’ (if you haven’t yet, please listen to it here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXg6Usdjl5c)

Being away from the homeland for more than 7 months now, even the smallest of perturbations from the ‘stable state’ result in pangs of missing home, missing India. Agreed I have stayed in the hostel for four years before this, but then, there was always this feeling, I can sit in the train any time and reach home. Or, I can go to the nearest sweets mart to eat rasmalai, or I can hang out at Laxmi relishing Paneer Pasanda :) Here in Ithaca (and obviously, a contributing factor being that Ithaca has less to offer than some other Indian-ised cities like SF or Dallas), every move reminds me of something linked to India, and I go into this infinite loop of missing home - talk to ten people about it, who in turn, miss home and start listing what they miss about India - till finally someone looks into their phone (i.e. see the time) and chuckles, ‘chalo bey, khaana banana hain..’

And then I make the worse mistake of attributing wrong reasons to missing India. Am I really only missing India? Or do I just want to go back to the place where things are so easy, tailor-made for me - I have to do nothing but manage my own acads/work/etc. while other things are served to me ready on the plate? In other words, am I scared of growing up? Of being the sole person responsible for my actions? Of having to bear the consequences of whatever I do... alone? Maybe a little, my heart tells me. What the.., you can’t do that, says my brain, you’re old enough, you are no more a little kid. But I want to be, says the heart. You can’t, period (the brain). In the midst of this brain-heart wrestling, I realise I just burnt my sabjee and even that, now brings tears to my eyes..

Small(!) Joys in Life :)

Really? Watching live performances of Bollywood actors, singing to the music, literally ROFL-ing in the house, while munching on Indian snacks (thanks to room mates’ parents/relatives/cousins!) - that ain’t any small joy! Yes, I am talking about watching the Filmfare Awards on Sunday afternoon with room mates while 5000 miles away from the homeland, where they actually took place :)

It all began with the excitement created on Facebook by our friends back in India. Needless to say, we had checked the winners online after the awards happened, but status msgs like ‘Ranbir <3’, ‘Awesome Filmfare was awesome’ create such a longing in your heart... so much so that you announce, while having a late sunday lunch (or brunch or breakfast!) ‘Pleeeease let’s watch the filmfare awards?’ And there it is. The room is a ruckus. ‘Yeah my friend said they’re really awesome’, ‘Dude, SRK was so cute’, ‘No Ranbir was better she said’.. till finally the  tech-savvy person (which happens to be me :P) searches the web up and down and voila! Here is the familiar red carpet, the dazzling lights, the extravagant stage and the awesomely clad celebrities!

Well, in confession mode, it was my first time watching the entire Filmfare awards ceremony (yeah, yeah I can hear the muffled ‘muggoo’ :-/), so it was all the more exciting for me. However, the ceremony was really cool. Very well organized (it better be!), with the anchors - SRK and RK at their best - the jokes well thought out, the soft mockery actually making sense (lol), their accurate timing and innovative dressing styles ;), use of ‘logical’ special effects all through the show, good-tending-towards-awesome dance performances by the ladies - and the (overheard) supreme Shaan’s performance (that we missed :( ) Perfect for watching in the *Pardes* :)

The high spot of the ceremony, though, had to be the short film with SRK and RK vying for Rakhi Sawant, wherein Shakti Kapoor emerges out of Rakhi Sawant’s mask - that made us literally roll on the floor laughing, not caring that we hadn’t swept the floor for weeks now! #grad-life Two of us didn’t even see the next part because we were so busy laughing :D Indeed, close to three hours of frenzy, epic FF awards were epic :)

Does one really need a reason to connect back to the homeland? And something extravagant to be happy? And people more awesome than who can join you in your mad ideas? :)

New Year Resolutions

Another New Year begins... There's a huge buzz on status msgs, facebook profiles, greeting cards, this and that. Plans are made and religiously (don't fall for the pun :D) executed, friends and families get together to celebrate and there's merriness all around. Everyone is filled with excitement and hope as they look forward
to a new year. Somewhere there are a few people writing about how the new year's gonna be and how youngsters are not supposed to celebrate it and how new year resolutions fail.. but that cannot surpass the happiness around :)

As I look forward to the new year - and my first new years' eve in the USA - I am filled with the same excitement and hope. Amidst the clicking of glasses and the chants of 'happy new year' and the prancing of party-ites, however, is the part I like the most - making resolutions. Agreed you don't need a day to make resolutions or to make a change in yourself. "Thou shalt adapt" is the one and only commandment of the present. However, small things at times have best effects when done on specific occasions and resolutions is one of them, I believe. While the mind is ready for a fresh start, while it is reveling in the happy moments of the past year and hoping for many more of those in the coming year, it is best to make a wish, make a resolution...

I was drawn to this resolutions game - when I was little. My grandparents used to tell me about little things I did right and did wrong in the past year and ask me to resolve to make the wrongs right. They were small things indeed - ranging from completing homework on time to washing my own socks and from keeping my plate away by myself to tidying my bed. They slowly grew to helping Mom make tea on weekends and reading out the 'editorial' every day and to mastering one more 'adhyaya' of the Geeta... and after some more time, to exercising for 45 mins daily and to writing about my experiences... one such resolution before coming to Cornell was to write to my friends every fortnight :)

Thinking in hindsight - did all these things really matter? It seems they need not have been decided on New Year's eve.. But making resolutions on New Year's and following them throughout the year gives a sense of responsibility and achievement. My grandparents gave me the freedom to choose my resolution but made sure I understood what it meant to make a resolution. I was not allowed to go astray - they made me stand up to myself. It taught me what giving a word and keeping it means - and how important it is, to keep one's word to oneself. Hence, even today, if I make a solemn promise to myself, I make sure I follow it with the same child-like honesty. I can't imagine how these little things go a long way in making you the kind of person you are.

Of course, I will be making a resolution today as well :) And although I am no one to suggest you resolutions, I would like to point out to the following, if you haven't thought of one yet :)

'Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in
No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken...
Live your life with arms wide open,
Today is, where your book begins..
The rest is still unwritten..'
(from the song 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield)

Inter IIT

I never thought I’d be missing the Inter IIT so much. Yes, it’s the Inter IIT Sports Meet. It is a proper noun for us, almost as though it were a person. And I miss it as though it were indeed a person. 

While skyping my team-mates Sharada and Anvita yesterday, I realized how much I longed to be back there, with them all - may be not play, but just be around - cheering the teams and lukkha-ing otherwise. Every morning since the Inter IIT has begun, I find myself eagerly waiting for yesterday’s results. And before I sleep, I always wish them luck for today’s match! It’s like I am in sync with IST, just for this little while! :)

Those were the days, really. Inter IIT practices went all the year round (well, at least all the odd sem round), but the Camp in December was the most enduring and perhaps the most fun part of the sem. All work and no play - just the definitions of work and play changed :) Rather, quoting from the movie ‘Iqbal’ - they became one! Daily schedule used to be - play, eat, sleep, play, eat, sleep... ad infinitum. To add to it was the unending lukkha, cheerful treats and prolonged chit-chatting about anything and everything. Probably that’s why us team mates were all so close. And still are. I remember the really really senior members of the team calling to wish us luck before finals, to scold us at times, and in the end, treat us :)

I have not been much of a player, in general. I did play badminton at school but that was it. For recreation. Maybe for exercise. But these guys (and girls) showed me what competitive badminton is like. When I saw them preparing before the match - both warming up as well as planning, during the match - improvising and keeping up their spirits, while maintaining ultimate composure, and after the match - well, for them it was almost always a victory, but at some mishaps - holding their head up as they congratulated the winning team, huddling with team mates and resolving to better their records next time.. I was happy to have met Real Champs. Their sheer love for the game and their passion for victory were enough to inspire me every day, to do my bit for the team. I can almost hear Mittal shouting ‘tez, tez, aur tez!’ whenever I think about Inter-IIT practices!

And it was not just about badminton. All teams practised really, really hard for the Inter-IIT. It was like the educational institute suddenly seemed like a Sports Club or a Sports Academy! Meeting everyone for lunch and dinner, listening to them discuss this year’s plans, chatting with the senti senior members of the team and motivating the freshies (while intro-ing them a lil :D) - it really felt like we were one contingent. One. And it’s a feeling that comes not because of the chant (or war-cry) we have, not because of our similar tracksuits, not because we walk in a cluster behind the IITB flag holder and not because we all look askance when the IITB contingent leader shouts ‘Dahine dekh!’ It is a lot, lot more than that.

Even as I write this, I know they’re all up there. Trying to do their best. Kicking, smashing, racing, bowling, sprinting, spinning, tackling... Vying for the Championship. Keeping up with the spirit of sportsmanship, I’d only say, ‘May the best man win!’

And here's to the baddy team (2011) :)

Thanksgiving

Yeah, I know,  this is belated thanksgiving. Partly because I was thinking - oh come on, it’s not a big deal, I haven’t celebrated it in 22 years, I don’t need to celebrate now! And partly because I was busy with projects and submission work (#grad-life). On second thoughts, however, I thought I should. Because thanksgiving impresses me as being a ‘festival by the people, of the people and for the people’ - something I haven’t found s explicitly, yet, in the long line of Indian festivals.

It all began when we had a project submission on the Monday just after the thanksgiving break. Working in a group of four, me and my Indian groupmate didn’t care - we were not supposed to celebrate/plan/etc. Thanksgiving. We were worried how the other two groupmates - both from NJ - would handle the submission work. And seemingly impossible though it seemed, the two undergraduates in our group finished their work - and it ain’t a small thing when it comes to designing and simulating circuits and laying them out using Cadence! - before leaving for the thanksgiving holiday! Without a single complaint. Without any of us having to push them to do so. We were astounded both by their dedication and team spirit but more so by the kind of hard work they put in, before going home for Thanksgiving. I almost remembered my first year at IIT, when we completed a project “before time” to be able to go home for Diwali! :)

Yes, Thanksgiving is like Diwali for the people here. They all come home together, meet their parents (becuz most of them are studying, living alone etc.) and relatives, cook and have special dinner together and spend quality time with near and dear ones. Quite similar to Diwali - we go home, eat faraal, burst crackers and have a gala time as well. But with a difference. Unlike Diwali, Thanksgiving has undergone a change and has no more remained the traditional festival to thank god or ‘do traditional stuff’ but has become a day when people explicitly express gratitude to whoever they believe deserves it. May it be friends, dear ones, employers(!), and lots of unknown hands which help us live day-to-day life peacefully... making me remember the short story - ‘An Impossible Dream’ - I read for my board exams. The author of the story (Art Buchwald) tries to spread the message of love by thanking people who (usually) do thankless jobs - like his cab driver, the postman and the waiter.

Indeed, in this world of busy-ness, as my friend puts it - ‘Everyone’s fighting a battle everyday’ - so unless you voice your feelings of gratitude, love and support, you really do not have much. Good or bad as it may seem to be, no one has the time to keep worrying about oneself completely, let alone about others and their feelings. And yet, everyone is craving for that happy feeling in one’s heart. Thanksgiving tells us to say that out loud - give love, hope and support, do not hesitate to ask for it as well and most importantly, be thankful for it - of the people, for the people, by the people.

P.S. We did this little exercise (with friends) in Ithaca, it went awesome :)

New look!

Thanks to my super-busy schedule #grad-school-life, I haven't been able to post anything new for quite some time now, despite having some ideas. Will update soon :)

Till then, I thought I might as well change the look (after visiting someone else's blog and realizing Google has new, cooler stuff on blogs as well!), so here it is. I like it because it suggests simplicity, and quite a lot of it.

Which is how I plan to keep everything! Simple. Just like this post! ;)

Big Red Dream

Naah, this post isn't about love. At least, not in the conventional sense. This is about love for one's dreams, love to build one's life as one dreamt it to be - more in the passion, driving force domain of love :)

About the title, well - Big Red is the most common tagline for Cornell clubs/places to hang out at Cornell and so on. And Cornell - well, that's where my dream took me. So here I am, pursuing my Masters degree in ECE at Cornell University.

Like one of my friends told me, it's useful to be alone in a new place at times - teaches you to be independent, search and figure stuff out yourself, talk to and get to know people and think and take decisions, however small, by yourself more than being guided by people. Although I had some backing - a phone from a cousin, several seniors I knew from IIT - I am still smiling to myself as I write this post having made good progress in settling down. I have a nice lil house with four awesome(ly crazy) room mates, the wallpaper on my phone is a pic of the entrance to Cornell University (of course, taken by me), I have managed to properly cook with minor spilling, my housemates are now my good friends and soon, college would begin. Agreed, all this seems minor, it's not really that big a deal. But it gives me a sense of 'growing up'.

It's not about being independent for the sake of living life as you wish, it's about
being on your own and being able to take care of things. It's about managing stuff w/o letting go of yourself, or compromising on your ideals or forgetting your dreams.
It's about that happy feeling in your parents' hearts that their children are
'settling down' and about that happy feeling in your heart that eventually, you will
be able to take care of your parents and their dreams. Don't think this was what you always dreamt? Think again. It was there, hidden deep and left unsaid.

Well, more about Big Experiences as I explore more. For now, I'll keep you all thinking at this point...