Tum Kya Leke Aaye The Aur Kya Leke Jaoge?

Tum Kya Leke Aaye The Aur Kya Leke Jaoge? (What did you bring with you when you entered this world and what will you take back with you when you leave the same?)

The Zee Cinema Awards' anchors said that this now-so-popular question from the movie 'Agneepath' has its answer rooted in the movie 'Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai's song -

"Khaali Haath Aaye The Hum

Khaali Haath Jaayenge"

(Empty-handed we came, empty-handed we'll leave...)

What they forgot to mention was the next two lines in the answer -

"Buss Pyar Ke Do Meethe Bol Zilmilayenge

Toh Hans Kyun ki Duniya Ko Hai Hasana"

What I'm saying is - there are two ways to look at the answer. One, Tum kuch leke nahi aaye the, Naa hi kuch leke jaoge, i. e. you came here empty-handed and will leave the same. So, live in the present. Enjoy life. Work hard. Party hard. Follow your heart. Don't think, just do. That's how we all seem to live today. Especially as young professionals. We work hard on weekdays, party on weekends and that's it. We make trips to famous places, put up a few pictures on Facebook and that's it. What is it that we do for the long term, something that will be remembered, something that will stay? Inside scoop: Your code and money are definitely not staying!

Which brings us to the other way of looking at the answer. Since we did not get anything here, nor are we taking anything back, why are we here anyway? Probably to leave something back? To process whatever we were able to grasp, lay our hands on after we came in, in the course of our life and leave back the output? An answer on Quora to 'What should a 22-year old do with his life?' was - You came here to create something from nothing. You should do whatever it takes to achieve that. The answer couldn't be more correct, I feel.

Now it's up to us to decide how and what the output is going to be like. What do you think you are leaving back for tomorrow? Well, I dunno either. So many of our ancestors left back so much for us. Eminent poets, scientists,.. of course, you'll say everyone is not as great. I agree. What can we, then, as 'normal' mortals leave back? If nothing, then why are we here? 

Of Childhood Idols

A common question in interviews and one I have always liked to answer - ‘Do you consider anyone to be your idol?’ Being an avid reader and a superfan of technology, I always had an answer ready - Sudha Murthy! Why - cuz she has been a great inspiration for me - especially as a woman in technology - right from her standing first in her ME course at IISc to becoming the first hired woman employee (there’s a story behind this, too.. for interested readers) of TELCO, and from her being the seed investor behind Infosys to heading the Infosys Foundation which encourages and aids technology and science. I have always been deeply fascinated by her career and approach to life. I am sure if asked this question, you will have ready answers as well - ranging from Einstein to Tendulkar to Rooney to whoever-it-is.

On second thoughts, I discovered however, that more than these idols, it’s the ‘childhood idols’ - we’ll come to the definition in a minute - who inspire us the most. Remember when your cousin was posted to the USA? Or your neighbour stood first in the boards? Or your Professor received an award? Or some columnist who happened to sit next to you in a train journey telling you about his articles? Yes - somewhere or the other, it was these ‘normal’ people, who became your idols. Unknowingly, you were drawn towards their work and life and they became an inspiration for you.

In my case, I happened to idolize two such people in my life - as you can guess, one of them being my Uncle and the other, my cousin. Being from a normal family with a middle-class background, my uncle was the fifth in the line of siblings, the only son in the family. Obviously, he was supposed to manage the family soon enough, as my Mom tells me. She tells me how difficult it was, to study in a small house in a huge crowded community in Mumbai - whilst he seemed to ace the engineering exams like it were a ‘no big deal’. He was the first engineer in the family, only to be transported to the USA in the big boom of 90s, and has since ‘made it large’. Similar things can be said about my cousin. My Mom always told me - ‘Look at them, see how they worked hard for creating a life for themselves. And did so despite adversities - imagine giving an interview at wee hours of the morning (when it’s afternoon in the USA), preparing for it amidst all the hul-chul in the house...’

These words always remained at the back of my head. While preparing for JEE, while in IIT, while applying to univs and even studying and applying for jobs now - I keep in mind that hard work is what ultimately pays off. I keep in mind that one needs to dream big and work hard to achieve his dreams. I keep in mind that one needs to learn the ‘tricks of the trade’, be ready to change himself for the better and keep refreshing one’s knowledge for maintaining his success. I keep in mind all that these idols mean for me and speak to me - without actually speaking.

I remember all this now, as I happened to spend a three week vacation with them some days back. Well, it was, in a way, like you’d feel when you met Tendulkar. It was, in a way, like staying with your idols, and living with them. Maybe you won’t feel this now, but if you look deep in your heart and search for ‘that childhood idol’, you might be able to.

Lesson Number 2 :)

The previous post on Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness was the culmination of my thoughts at the 'first
look' of the USA. As my exposure to the US grew, I have been having a few more thoughts about what makes this country IT and what is the essence of the principles that make this country IT.

This time, the trigger was watching 'Lagaan' again (#commencement week lukkha :D). The scene that shook
my mind was the one where Amir Khan is lacking the 11th member of the team and Kachra, the crippled,
so called 'untouchable', amazes him so much by his 'spin bowling' that Amir fights with the entire village to have him on the team. So much for equality. So much for the dignity of an individual. So much for humanity.

When I see people in the USA, I see in their eyes and mind what I see in Bhuvan's eyes in this scene. They respect every individual for what he is and for what he is doing. May it be the Food truck in the university, the bus driver, the landlord of the house, the bankers or students. I feel my hand shaking even as I write these 'divisions' of labor. Because when I meet the bus driver as soon as I step outside the house, he/she greets me with a smile, and a "hello, how are you doing?" And I cannot not say Hello back. A small greeting is what it takes to establish a connection. Then come the Food truck wala and the landlord. My landlord texts me like my friends do (obviously not so often :P), the Truck wala chats with me about the weather, and so on. Just last week, I was chatting for about a half hour with the local Internet-pay-station-wala (and no, he wasn't hitting on me :D)

Why do these people seem to have the self-esteem and courage that so many of us do not have? Why does a menial labourer in India feel that he's doing us a service? Isn't he in fact, doing something for us that we cannot do ourselves? Why does everyone respect engineers and doctors so much but whines when their son/daughter says she wants to be a chef? The answer is the same - we consider that the brain is the mightiest and everything else is lower than that. But seriously, everyone is just doing their job. Everyone is doing what they can do best. Everyone has been endowed a responsibility by God, according to what they can fulfill. And isn't the world such a pretty place because of that? What if there wasn't the truck wala? What if there wasn't the local postman who danced with me and my Mom whenever a scholarship letter arrived? What if there weren't people in hospitals and aeroplanes and construction workers and so on?

Agreed, everyone has a different liking, a different brain, a different ability. But they all deserve the same respect. The same kindness. The same smile and the same treatment. I am highly impressed by this country for this and I feel we all owe them this lesson.

Missing India...

Ah. Finally the trigger. Was thinking about writing how these days it has come to - waking up in the morning after a long dream about school, feeling like a child and wanting to not come out of the blanket but waiting for your Mom’s ‘ultimatum’ - ‘No breakfast for you if you don’t wake up NOW!’, listening to bollywood songs in the lab in loops, missing India on seeing a box of sweets sent by roommates’ parents, longing to visit the usual CCD you used to hang out at when back in India, having that sudden urge to ride the Scooty Pep/Active/Dio and of course, day-dreaming about things-to-do when you finally touch ‘base’, as one of my friends called it the other day :) This very base was the trigger through the theme song of Amir’s ‘Satyamev Jayte’ (if you haven’t yet, please listen to it here - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXg6Usdjl5c)

Being away from the homeland for more than 7 months now, even the smallest of perturbations from the ‘stable state’ result in pangs of missing home, missing India. Agreed I have stayed in the hostel for four years before this, but then, there was always this feeling, I can sit in the train any time and reach home. Or, I can go to the nearest sweets mart to eat rasmalai, or I can hang out at Laxmi relishing Paneer Pasanda :) Here in Ithaca (and obviously, a contributing factor being that Ithaca has less to offer than some other Indian-ised cities like SF or Dallas), every move reminds me of something linked to India, and I go into this infinite loop of missing home - talk to ten people about it, who in turn, miss home and start listing what they miss about India - till finally someone looks into their phone (i.e. see the time) and chuckles, ‘chalo bey, khaana banana hain..’

And then I make the worse mistake of attributing wrong reasons to missing India. Am I really only missing India? Or do I just want to go back to the place where things are so easy, tailor-made for me - I have to do nothing but manage my own acads/work/etc. while other things are served to me ready on the plate? In other words, am I scared of growing up? Of being the sole person responsible for my actions? Of having to bear the consequences of whatever I do... alone? Maybe a little, my heart tells me. What the.., you can’t do that, says my brain, you’re old enough, you are no more a little kid. But I want to be, says the heart. You can’t, period (the brain). In the midst of this brain-heart wrestling, I realise I just burnt my sabjee and even that, now brings tears to my eyes..

Small(!) Joys in Life :)

Really? Watching live performances of Bollywood actors, singing to the music, literally ROFL-ing in the house, while munching on Indian snacks (thanks to room mates’ parents/relatives/cousins!) - that ain’t any small joy! Yes, I am talking about watching the Filmfare Awards on Sunday afternoon with room mates while 5000 miles away from the homeland, where they actually took place :)

It all began with the excitement created on Facebook by our friends back in India. Needless to say, we had checked the winners online after the awards happened, but status msgs like ‘Ranbir <3’, ‘Awesome Filmfare was awesome’ create such a longing in your heart... so much so that you announce, while having a late sunday lunch (or brunch or breakfast!) ‘Pleeeease let’s watch the filmfare awards?’ And there it is. The room is a ruckus. ‘Yeah my friend said they’re really awesome’, ‘Dude, SRK was so cute’, ‘No Ranbir was better she said’.. till finally the  tech-savvy person (which happens to be me :P) searches the web up and down and voila! Here is the familiar red carpet, the dazzling lights, the extravagant stage and the awesomely clad celebrities!

Well, in confession mode, it was my first time watching the entire Filmfare awards ceremony (yeah, yeah I can hear the muffled ‘muggoo’ :-/), so it was all the more exciting for me. However, the ceremony was really cool. Very well organized (it better be!), with the anchors - SRK and RK at their best - the jokes well thought out, the soft mockery actually making sense (lol), their accurate timing and innovative dressing styles ;), use of ‘logical’ special effects all through the show, good-tending-towards-awesome dance performances by the ladies - and the (overheard) supreme Shaan’s performance (that we missed :( ) Perfect for watching in the *Pardes* :)

The high spot of the ceremony, though, had to be the short film with SRK and RK vying for Rakhi Sawant, wherein Shakti Kapoor emerges out of Rakhi Sawant’s mask - that made us literally roll on the floor laughing, not caring that we hadn’t swept the floor for weeks now! #grad-life Two of us didn’t even see the next part because we were so busy laughing :D Indeed, close to three hours of frenzy, epic FF awards were epic :)

Does one really need a reason to connect back to the homeland? And something extravagant to be happy? And people more awesome than who can join you in your mad ideas? :)

Thanksgiving

Yeah, I know,  this is belated thanksgiving. Partly because I was thinking - oh come on, it’s not a big deal, I haven’t celebrated it in 22 years, I don’t need to celebrate now! And partly because I was busy with projects and submission work (#grad-life). On second thoughts, however, I thought I should. Because thanksgiving impresses me as being a ‘festival by the people, of the people and for the people’ - something I haven’t found s explicitly, yet, in the long line of Indian festivals.

It all began when we had a project submission on the Monday just after the thanksgiving break. Working in a group of four, me and my Indian groupmate didn’t care - we were not supposed to celebrate/plan/etc. Thanksgiving. We were worried how the other two groupmates - both from NJ - would handle the submission work. And seemingly impossible though it seemed, the two undergraduates in our group finished their work - and it ain’t a small thing when it comes to designing and simulating circuits and laying them out using Cadence! - before leaving for the thanksgiving holiday! Without a single complaint. Without any of us having to push them to do so. We were astounded both by their dedication and team spirit but more so by the kind of hard work they put in, before going home for Thanksgiving. I almost remembered my first year at IIT, when we completed a project “before time” to be able to go home for Diwali! :)

Yes, Thanksgiving is like Diwali for the people here. They all come home together, meet their parents (becuz most of them are studying, living alone etc.) and relatives, cook and have special dinner together and spend quality time with near and dear ones. Quite similar to Diwali - we go home, eat faraal, burst crackers and have a gala time as well. But with a difference. Unlike Diwali, Thanksgiving has undergone a change and has no more remained the traditional festival to thank god or ‘do traditional stuff’ but has become a day when people explicitly express gratitude to whoever they believe deserves it. May it be friends, dear ones, employers(!), and lots of unknown hands which help us live day-to-day life peacefully... making me remember the short story - ‘An Impossible Dream’ - I read for my board exams. The author of the story (Art Buchwald) tries to spread the message of love by thanking people who (usually) do thankless jobs - like his cab driver, the postman and the waiter.

Indeed, in this world of busy-ness, as my friend puts it - ‘Everyone’s fighting a battle everyday’ - so unless you voice your feelings of gratitude, love and support, you really do not have much. Good or bad as it may seem to be, no one has the time to keep worrying about oneself completely, let alone about others and their feelings. And yet, everyone is craving for that happy feeling in one’s heart. Thanksgiving tells us to say that out loud - give love, hope and support, do not hesitate to ask for it as well and most importantly, be thankful for it - of the people, for the people, by the people.

P.S. We did this little exercise (with friends) in Ithaca, it went awesome :)

Some things won't change...

Exactly on this day, four years back, I was horrified at the sight of Hostel 10, IIT Bombay. With the paint coming off, the stuffy rooms, unclean corridors, grim looking - shrieking - and at times abusing [:D] - seniors roaming in the building, I felt it would be such a punishment to being admitted to B.Tech Electrical Engg, and having to stay in that.. something called a hostel, for four more years. Little did I know four years down the line, I'd cry like a child separating from its Mom when I left my hostel. Yes, that's probably why they call it alma-mater - mater being Latin for mother.

IIT is a world in itself - self-sufficient of sorts. In four years - the home away from home, the food unlike home food, the friends different from school friends, never ever seemed unfamiliar. There was always a feeling of closeness, oneness, togetherness which overcame the biggest of problems, deepest of worries and smallest of doubts about oneself. Whenever I remember IIT, everything flashes before my eyes - the main gate (which I never liked, it should be grand-er!), the trees on both sides of the road leading to my hostel, the faculty bungalows nearby, the INFI corridor (yes, it's actually infinite, thank the japanese for that :) ), the various departments (quite silent most of the times), the huuuuge playground (my first love at IIT ;)) and then the majestic hostels 12 and 13... this was it. The 600 acre awesomeness :)

Once at IIT, it's difficult *not* to fit in, in the campus culture, which appreciates everyone's uniqueness. You see the weirdest of people, the wisest of people, the lukkha-est of people, the gifted of people, sometimes the most rebellious of people and truly, the best of people. To be more correct, you adapt yourselves to the culture so well, it all becomes an integral part of you. I remember joining as a meek, serious, extremely sincere and quiet novice. I now laugh as I remember myself not talking to my roomie but reading books (well, not only academic, even others :P) or sitting quietly on the mess table, whilst packs of seniors tried to make us talk, or shying away from hostelmates I didn't know and so on. All of that changed in no time. My days after the freshmen year always began with waking half the others up for class, gobbling away plateful of breaker, scooting to class almost on time, only to sleep midway between and be woken by the person next to me, returning after a coffee at shack with Tf/Avanti/Music/random junta, lunch and either scooting to lab again or watching sitcoms :) Evenings were spent working for one of the aforementioned activities or playing baddy while nights were reserved for some of the most exciting of times - sharing experiences, cribbing (nah, I didn't say bitching!) about this-n-that and if unlucky, studying for the quiz the next day. Ah, I miss all of this so much now...

I miss the people, the familiar surroundings, the huge trees, the clear roads which only get crowded when there's a festival going on, the new and the old baddy courts, the playground (need I say more about it?), the helpful seniors and of course, my friends. I think it hasn't even sunk in properly yet. I am yet to realize what it's gonna be like to live in an apartment with 4 strangers, cook my own food, live on my own while holding on dearly to those exponentially decreasing number of notifications/mails/messages of my 'former' collegemates. Agreed, I will meet new people, my friends will meet new friends, we'll all be happy in our new worlds, probably never meet again (let's just hope the world is a small place and this never happens but anyway...) and everything will settle down. Life will go on.

What won't go, however, is the little place everyone has in my heart, the half moment I spend thinking of them when I do something I always did with them and the smile that follows this thought and the little prayer I say to God - to keep them all healthy, wealthy and wise.. well actually, to help them realize what's best for them, lead them to their dreams and most of all, keep them all happy.

Life, Liberty and Pursuit of Happiness

Yes, you heard it right when you were learning about the 'Declaration of Independence' in school. Little did you know these words would keep banging on your head once you graduated. At college, 'Life' was always good, you had lots of 'Liberty' and you didn't have to 'pursue happiness' per se. It was there all around - on your friends' faces, at the lousy hang-out places you always went to, in the engine of your bike, in the books in your bag, in the music playing from your iPod, in the eyes of the special someone in your heart and needless to say, in your wallet.

One fine day towards the end of my final year at college, I was suddenly shook by the thought - OMG, I am graduating. I will have a job, I will be responsible for myself and soon, for my family. Everyone will look up to me for guidance, support and making sense. Though these thoughts soon vanished with the bouts of 'happiness' obtained from countless job treats given and taken, crazy nightouts, worse hangovers and morbid goodbyes, today, I was once again overwhelmed by these three words. Because when I received my US VISA, the first thing Google told me about the US of A is these three words. Not skyscrapers, not super duper machines, not snow, not California, not Niagara, but these three words. And my thoughts flowed endlessly...

Life - Really, does anyone understand what this is all about? Breathing in and out, is just a sign of living, they say. Then, what IS 'life'? I don't think it is what your parents gave you. I don't think it's the experiences you've had or are going to have. I don't think it's the person who you are or what you were destined to be. I don't think it's the kind of work you do. I don't think it's the people who you met or the girl/guy you marry or the girl/guy who broke your heart. I think life is an endless pursuit of knowledge and the sense of feeling for something. I see life everyday when the sun rises, I hear it as the sparrows chirp, I feel it from my Mom's happy face making tea in the morning. I sense it through my Dad's rustling of the newspaper. I stare at it when the maid's 2 year old daughter asks her if she's tired and needs help. I laugh with it when I meet my friends in the day, I rock with it on the guitar, I sip it through the 'naariyal paani' I drink and gulp it down from the shared cake on someone's birthday. I sigh with it when I listen to the news about floods in China, and marvel at it as Japan stands up on its feet again. Yes, I feel 'life' because I feel it. That's it. That is also probably why they say, 'stop thinking, start living'. If I do not make an active effort to know, to feel, I can't hope to have a good life. Simple. Feel it for yourself.

Liberty - It's supposedly the other side of the coin which has 'responsibility' as one side. Liberty. Freedom. Opinion. Choice. Free will. Yes, I am entitled to all these. But just this is not enough. I must use them as tools. As a free individual, I can choose my home, my partner, my job, my principles, my ideals, my friends, my habits. However, some questions always lurk at the back of my mind - Am I making optimum use of these? Or am I safeguarding my interests at the cost of others' liberty? Am I hurting someone only because I want my own free will to prevail? Is this price really worthy to be paid by someone for my free will? And most importantly, am I really answerable to anyone at all?
Try thinking for some time.
The answer is yes. I am answerable to myself. I am answerable to my parents, my friends, my relatives, my colleagues and to humanity at large. That of course, does not mean I have no freedom. The freedom, however, comes with a price tag. Therefore, the next time you choose the wrong over the right, think of Liberty granted to you.

Pursuit of happiness - After a wonderful movie about this, really makes little sense to use words to explain. Pursuit of happiness is a way of living life. Living like a sage is one. Working to make your family happy is another. Both will attain happiness, but through different paths. In the recent spirit of the term, pursuit of happiness is, in fact, the standard way to achieve 'Inner Peace' :D
That's what we all want in the end. We strive to be happy. We work for it, we run for it, we talk for it, we walk for it, we even kill for it at times. Of course, it's not wrong to pursue happiness. But there's a great danger of losing 'current' happiness for 'future' happiness. When was the last time you played with your children? When was the last time you read a story to your aging grandmother or even your aging parents? When was the last time you helped your little brother build his project, or your mother with her grocery? You probably sent them to the best school, best class, best hospital and best old-age home. They did deserve it, but never asked for it. All they asked for is all those things you don't remember doing. Once they ask for it, you'll realize there isn't a charm in it anymore. Similar is the case with pursuing happiness by the wrong means. The bubble will burst some time and you'll be left with nothing you once valued. So, pursue happiness but make sure you'll enjoy the happiness you're pursuing!

For now, I will just pursue these random thoughts for some more time... :)