New Year Resolutions

Another New Year begins... There's a huge buzz on status msgs, facebook profiles, greeting cards, this and that. Plans are made and religiously (don't fall for the pun :D) executed, friends and families get together to celebrate and there's merriness all around. Everyone is filled with excitement and hope as they look forward
to a new year. Somewhere there are a few people writing about how the new year's gonna be and how youngsters are not supposed to celebrate it and how new year resolutions fail.. but that cannot surpass the happiness around :)

As I look forward to the new year - and my first new years' eve in the USA - I am filled with the same excitement and hope. Amidst the clicking of glasses and the chants of 'happy new year' and the prancing of party-ites, however, is the part I like the most - making resolutions. Agreed you don't need a day to make resolutions or to make a change in yourself. "Thou shalt adapt" is the one and only commandment of the present. However, small things at times have best effects when done on specific occasions and resolutions is one of them, I believe. While the mind is ready for a fresh start, while it is reveling in the happy moments of the past year and hoping for many more of those in the coming year, it is best to make a wish, make a resolution...

I was drawn to this resolutions game - when I was little. My grandparents used to tell me about little things I did right and did wrong in the past year and ask me to resolve to make the wrongs right. They were small things indeed - ranging from completing homework on time to washing my own socks and from keeping my plate away by myself to tidying my bed. They slowly grew to helping Mom make tea on weekends and reading out the 'editorial' every day and to mastering one more 'adhyaya' of the Geeta... and after some more time, to exercising for 45 mins daily and to writing about my experiences... one such resolution before coming to Cornell was to write to my friends every fortnight :)

Thinking in hindsight - did all these things really matter? It seems they need not have been decided on New Year's eve.. But making resolutions on New Year's and following them throughout the year gives a sense of responsibility and achievement. My grandparents gave me the freedom to choose my resolution but made sure I understood what it meant to make a resolution. I was not allowed to go astray - they made me stand up to myself. It taught me what giving a word and keeping it means - and how important it is, to keep one's word to oneself. Hence, even today, if I make a solemn promise to myself, I make sure I follow it with the same child-like honesty. I can't imagine how these little things go a long way in making you the kind of person you are.

Of course, I will be making a resolution today as well :) And although I am no one to suggest you resolutions, I would like to point out to the following, if you haven't thought of one yet :)

'Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in
No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken...
Live your life with arms wide open,
Today is, where your book begins..
The rest is still unwritten..'
(from the song 'Unwritten' by Natasha Bedingfield)

Inter IIT

I never thought I’d be missing the Inter IIT so much. Yes, it’s the Inter IIT Sports Meet. It is a proper noun for us, almost as though it were a person. And I miss it as though it were indeed a person. 

While skyping my team-mates Sharada and Anvita yesterday, I realized how much I longed to be back there, with them all - may be not play, but just be around - cheering the teams and lukkha-ing otherwise. Every morning since the Inter IIT has begun, I find myself eagerly waiting for yesterday’s results. And before I sleep, I always wish them luck for today’s match! It’s like I am in sync with IST, just for this little while! :)

Those were the days, really. Inter IIT practices went all the year round (well, at least all the odd sem round), but the Camp in December was the most enduring and perhaps the most fun part of the sem. All work and no play - just the definitions of work and play changed :) Rather, quoting from the movie ‘Iqbal’ - they became one! Daily schedule used to be - play, eat, sleep, play, eat, sleep... ad infinitum. To add to it was the unending lukkha, cheerful treats and prolonged chit-chatting about anything and everything. Probably that’s why us team mates were all so close. And still are. I remember the really really senior members of the team calling to wish us luck before finals, to scold us at times, and in the end, treat us :)

I have not been much of a player, in general. I did play badminton at school but that was it. For recreation. Maybe for exercise. But these guys (and girls) showed me what competitive badminton is like. When I saw them preparing before the match - both warming up as well as planning, during the match - improvising and keeping up their spirits, while maintaining ultimate composure, and after the match - well, for them it was almost always a victory, but at some mishaps - holding their head up as they congratulated the winning team, huddling with team mates and resolving to better their records next time.. I was happy to have met Real Champs. Their sheer love for the game and their passion for victory were enough to inspire me every day, to do my bit for the team. I can almost hear Mittal shouting ‘tez, tez, aur tez!’ whenever I think about Inter-IIT practices!

And it was not just about badminton. All teams practised really, really hard for the Inter-IIT. It was like the educational institute suddenly seemed like a Sports Club or a Sports Academy! Meeting everyone for lunch and dinner, listening to them discuss this year’s plans, chatting with the senti senior members of the team and motivating the freshies (while intro-ing them a lil :D) - it really felt like we were one contingent. One. And it’s a feeling that comes not because of the chant (or war-cry) we have, not because of our similar tracksuits, not because we walk in a cluster behind the IITB flag holder and not because we all look askance when the IITB contingent leader shouts ‘Dahine dekh!’ It is a lot, lot more than that.

Even as I write this, I know they’re all up there. Trying to do their best. Kicking, smashing, racing, bowling, sprinting, spinning, tackling... Vying for the Championship. Keeping up with the spirit of sportsmanship, I’d only say, ‘May the best man win!’

And here's to the baddy team (2011) :)

Thanksgiving

Yeah, I know,  this is belated thanksgiving. Partly because I was thinking - oh come on, it’s not a big deal, I haven’t celebrated it in 22 years, I don’t need to celebrate now! And partly because I was busy with projects and submission work (#grad-life). On second thoughts, however, I thought I should. Because thanksgiving impresses me as being a ‘festival by the people, of the people and for the people’ - something I haven’t found s explicitly, yet, in the long line of Indian festivals.

It all began when we had a project submission on the Monday just after the thanksgiving break. Working in a group of four, me and my Indian groupmate didn’t care - we were not supposed to celebrate/plan/etc. Thanksgiving. We were worried how the other two groupmates - both from NJ - would handle the submission work. And seemingly impossible though it seemed, the two undergraduates in our group finished their work - and it ain’t a small thing when it comes to designing and simulating circuits and laying them out using Cadence! - before leaving for the thanksgiving holiday! Without a single complaint. Without any of us having to push them to do so. We were astounded both by their dedication and team spirit but more so by the kind of hard work they put in, before going home for Thanksgiving. I almost remembered my first year at IIT, when we completed a project “before time” to be able to go home for Diwali! :)

Yes, Thanksgiving is like Diwali for the people here. They all come home together, meet their parents (becuz most of them are studying, living alone etc.) and relatives, cook and have special dinner together and spend quality time with near and dear ones. Quite similar to Diwali - we go home, eat faraal, burst crackers and have a gala time as well. But with a difference. Unlike Diwali, Thanksgiving has undergone a change and has no more remained the traditional festival to thank god or ‘do traditional stuff’ but has become a day when people explicitly express gratitude to whoever they believe deserves it. May it be friends, dear ones, employers(!), and lots of unknown hands which help us live day-to-day life peacefully... making me remember the short story - ‘An Impossible Dream’ - I read for my board exams. The author of the story (Art Buchwald) tries to spread the message of love by thanking people who (usually) do thankless jobs - like his cab driver, the postman and the waiter.

Indeed, in this world of busy-ness, as my friend puts it - ‘Everyone’s fighting a battle everyday’ - so unless you voice your feelings of gratitude, love and support, you really do not have much. Good or bad as it may seem to be, no one has the time to keep worrying about oneself completely, let alone about others and their feelings. And yet, everyone is craving for that happy feeling in one’s heart. Thanksgiving tells us to say that out loud - give love, hope and support, do not hesitate to ask for it as well and most importantly, be thankful for it - of the people, for the people, by the people.

P.S. We did this little exercise (with friends) in Ithaca, it went awesome :)

New look!

Thanks to my super-busy schedule #grad-school-life, I haven't been able to post anything new for quite some time now, despite having some ideas. Will update soon :)

Till then, I thought I might as well change the look (after visiting someone else's blog and realizing Google has new, cooler stuff on blogs as well!), so here it is. I like it because it suggests simplicity, and quite a lot of it.

Which is how I plan to keep everything! Simple. Just like this post! ;)

Big Red Dream

Naah, this post isn't about love. At least, not in the conventional sense. This is about love for one's dreams, love to build one's life as one dreamt it to be - more in the passion, driving force domain of love :)

About the title, well - Big Red is the most common tagline for Cornell clubs/places to hang out at Cornell and so on. And Cornell - well, that's where my dream took me. So here I am, pursuing my Masters degree in ECE at Cornell University.

Like one of my friends told me, it's useful to be alone in a new place at times - teaches you to be independent, search and figure stuff out yourself, talk to and get to know people and think and take decisions, however small, by yourself more than being guided by people. Although I had some backing - a phone from a cousin, several seniors I knew from IIT - I am still smiling to myself as I write this post having made good progress in settling down. I have a nice lil house with four awesome(ly crazy) room mates, the wallpaper on my phone is a pic of the entrance to Cornell University (of course, taken by me), I have managed to properly cook with minor spilling, my housemates are now my good friends and soon, college would begin. Agreed, all this seems minor, it's not really that big a deal. But it gives me a sense of 'growing up'.

It's not about being independent for the sake of living life as you wish, it's about
being on your own and being able to take care of things. It's about managing stuff w/o letting go of yourself, or compromising on your ideals or forgetting your dreams.
It's about that happy feeling in your parents' hearts that their children are
'settling down' and about that happy feeling in your heart that eventually, you will
be able to take care of your parents and their dreams. Don't think this was what you always dreamt? Think again. It was there, hidden deep and left unsaid.

Well, more about Big Experiences as I explore more. For now, I'll keep you all thinking at this point...

Some things won't change...

Exactly on this day, four years back, I was horrified at the sight of Hostel 10, IIT Bombay. With the paint coming off, the stuffy rooms, unclean corridors, grim looking - shrieking - and at times abusing [:D] - seniors roaming in the building, I felt it would be such a punishment to being admitted to B.Tech Electrical Engg, and having to stay in that.. something called a hostel, for four more years. Little did I know four years down the line, I'd cry like a child separating from its Mom when I left my hostel. Yes, that's probably why they call it alma-mater - mater being Latin for mother.

IIT is a world in itself - self-sufficient of sorts. In four years - the home away from home, the food unlike home food, the friends different from school friends, never ever seemed unfamiliar. There was always a feeling of closeness, oneness, togetherness which overcame the biggest of problems, deepest of worries and smallest of doubts about oneself. Whenever I remember IIT, everything flashes before my eyes - the main gate (which I never liked, it should be grand-er!), the trees on both sides of the road leading to my hostel, the faculty bungalows nearby, the INFI corridor (yes, it's actually infinite, thank the japanese for that :) ), the various departments (quite silent most of the times), the huuuuge playground (my first love at IIT ;)) and then the majestic hostels 12 and 13... this was it. The 600 acre awesomeness :)

Once at IIT, it's difficult *not* to fit in, in the campus culture, which appreciates everyone's uniqueness. You see the weirdest of people, the wisest of people, the lukkha-est of people, the gifted of people, sometimes the most rebellious of people and truly, the best of people. To be more correct, you adapt yourselves to the culture so well, it all becomes an integral part of you. I remember joining as a meek, serious, extremely sincere and quiet novice. I now laugh as I remember myself not talking to my roomie but reading books (well, not only academic, even others :P) or sitting quietly on the mess table, whilst packs of seniors tried to make us talk, or shying away from hostelmates I didn't know and so on. All of that changed in no time. My days after the freshmen year always began with waking half the others up for class, gobbling away plateful of breaker, scooting to class almost on time, only to sleep midway between and be woken by the person next to me, returning after a coffee at shack with Tf/Avanti/Music/random junta, lunch and either scooting to lab again or watching sitcoms :) Evenings were spent working for one of the aforementioned activities or playing baddy while nights were reserved for some of the most exciting of times - sharing experiences, cribbing (nah, I didn't say bitching!) about this-n-that and if unlucky, studying for the quiz the next day. Ah, I miss all of this so much now...

I miss the people, the familiar surroundings, the huge trees, the clear roads which only get crowded when there's a festival going on, the new and the old baddy courts, the playground (need I say more about it?), the helpful seniors and of course, my friends. I think it hasn't even sunk in properly yet. I am yet to realize what it's gonna be like to live in an apartment with 4 strangers, cook my own food, live on my own while holding on dearly to those exponentially decreasing number of notifications/mails/messages of my 'former' collegemates. Agreed, I will meet new people, my friends will meet new friends, we'll all be happy in our new worlds, probably never meet again (let's just hope the world is a small place and this never happens but anyway...) and everything will settle down. Life will go on.

What won't go, however, is the little place everyone has in my heart, the half moment I spend thinking of them when I do something I always did with them and the smile that follows this thought and the little prayer I say to God - to keep them all healthy, wealthy and wise.. well actually, to help them realize what's best for them, lead them to their dreams and most of all, keep them all happy.

On the other side - of kids!

"Really? You look too young to be teaching LOGIC!" Pleased though I was at having looked 'young', I couldn't help telling the parent in a grim and confident tone "Well, I am a fresh graduate from IIT Bombay and will be joining a reputed University for my Masters in a month and that this is my temporary, part-time job." Yes, I have been teaching logic (mathematical) to the foundation batch for IIT-JEE at a JEE coaching institute in Pune. One of the finest experiences I have had in this long vacation :-)

The idea of lecturing JEE aspirants - for academics as well as non-academic stuff, had been on my mind for quite a long while. Especially while working at Avanti Fellows I went through the whole JEE-studying-times once again, and decided this needs to be given a shot in the vacations. I started with the noble agenda of guiding engineering-aspirants for various examinations - how to study, how to strike a balance between the numerous selection exams one has to give in the 12th std., how to maintain one's calm (hmm, look who's talking :D), and so on. I even diligently made a ppt about a step-by-step approach to effective and efficient studying for entrance examinations (it's available as freeware now, just in case :P) Of course, no famous class would be willing to trust a young fresh grad who can help for three months only, so I began looking at ads, calling up new institutes, talking to them.. but the outcome was similar - we can't allow you to teach, you can help us to counsel them and of course, no monetary advantage. Finally I called up my old, known professor and set up an appointment with him. Thankfully, he was happy to give me an opportunity of teaching, of course, he suggested I also help with the counseling, interviews of new students and so on..

I sat for his lecture about a week after joining the class. Felt awesome to be with little kids, to solve class tests and to hear jokes about - all girls being beautiful and all boys being lazy. Noting down the concepts in the lecture as well as the style of presentation, kind of language used, speed of covering the concepts, the non-chalance/informal-ness of the Professor, I began getting a little worried about if I'd be able to be even 50% of that. I 'studied' for my lecture that night.. writing down notes like - use hindi to make the atmo light, crack jokes related to models, actors and sports, give the students a break after an hour or so, ask puzzles to reduce boredom, ask 'Are you with me, is this clear' at least thrice after covering a sizeable portion... I was afraid it wouldn't come to me naturally as I was new!

But lo and behold! I was surprised to find myself quite confident and informal with the students from minute 1 :) I lectured with confidence and a smile on my face and naturally executed the little notes I had written for myself - at one time, I also used marathi to catch attention and make the class silent. It was a happy feeling when I finished and the students commented they had fun, some asked me my name again, some asked me doubts, some asked me if I'd be coming the next time, too, some asked me what books to refer to (alas, I dinno :P) and others said 'Bye bye, Miss'... Couldn't believe it had been that easy, although had a sore throat for a while after the class! After that, I lectured two more classes on the same topic and my reaction after the third class - which was the most dramatic of all, thanks to super enthu kids, the loooong classroom which made me shout 'junta', 'yaaron', 'Aika ho aika (marathi for "listen to me") till the students themselves began addressing themselves by these words every time they thought I was about to say it.. and until finally someone suggested I call them 'bacchon' :D - was: It gets better by the day :)

Well, it is fun to be on the other side. Of course, it's a huge responsibility too. I had been a judge for auditions at college but this was a different ball game altogether. The students trusted me. They asked me small doubts and expected me to explain as wonderfully as their old prof would have. They told me they were bored after a while. But also jumped up to solve puzzles. They (thankfully) laughed at my planned jokes. It wouldn't have been so great without them... No doubt this was a small class at a very small level. But I am very thankful to them - for making me realize how difficult (mentally) teaching is, and that it's not too difficult once you really want to do it. I am also thankful to the coaching class and the Professor. Indeed, one of the finest experiences I've had in this vacation :)